Forgetting
by frusciantefan
Summary: An away mission goes horrably wrong.PT! It's betaread, so please reread if you've read the old version. Please review!Thanks to Kirstin!
1. Chapter 1

**Forgetting **

**Chapter 1**

**By frusciantefan**

_This story has been posted before, yet now Kristin betaread it as English is not my mother Tongue. But please read it as the content is a different one, too. Furthermore I've divided it into several Chapters. This is the first._

_Thanks to my friends and family and John Frusciante and several other artists (It would be way too long to mention them all). But biggest thanks go to Kristin, who made this all possible!_

_Disclaimer:The characters belong to Paramount._

"I am an innocent man." Lepido had repeated that sentence over and over again and he was convinced of it. Yet he had been captured by this alien race and he didn't even know why. But while being brought to his cell that he often sarcastically described as "home sweet home", taken away from his beloved friends and family, he had gotten a pretty good idea of the prison, where he had been held for two weeks now. The most important thing about it was that this jail was divided into three parts and even if he knew neither details nor any functions, or the differences between those parts he knew exactly where he had to go if he was given any chance to break free. As the cell was bound by iron bars he could observe the prisoners and the guards. Although he had never been a good observer, he felt like this time it could save his live and ensure him freedom.

Just a few minutes ago a new foreigner was brought to a cell that confirmed their fate, and although the alien struggled and tried to fight it, there was just no way out. A few minutes later it was quiet in the new inhabitant's cell. The complete silence in the cell seemed peculiar as everywhere else there was noise you could never get used to.

As it was night, the guards started to take their round-tour through the prison that they took every night. A minute after they were gone, the lights were shut down immediately. Lepido was getting used to it by now, but he could tell that the recently captured prisoners didn't feel comfortable. As he was sitting there, he couldn't help but staring at the new inhabitant.

As it was almost pitch black, it would be easy to overlook the young woman huddled in the corner. Her hair was dark brown, and so were her eyes. On her forehead were ridges that were small, yet noticeable. Her black and yellow outfit was in a bad condition and showed signs of the fight she had gone through recently. No one was with her as she desperately started to moan.

/\

"Tom!" B'Elanna shouted loudly but she couldn't hear a single sound coming from her boyfriend. "Doc? Neelix?" Due to the darkness she wasn't able to see if they were with her in the room, which B'Elanna Torres guessed to be some kind of brig.

The only thing the half-Klingon was pretty sure about was that she was in danger. B'Elanna tried to contact Voyager again, as she had done so many times before. Not that she had expected them to answer, as it was one of those rather rare occasions that the combadge did not work. B'Elanna assumed that she was held in some kind of caves or under the surface, where it was almost impossible to get in touch with Voyager. Furthermore she was all by herself and she wondered how many days Voyager would spend looking for her. She knew that they would do everything possible to get her home safe but if she really was under the surface it wouldn't be easy for them to find her.

She wondered how much time she could stand to spend in that cold, grey and foreign room. The whole situation was so typical but as she thought about it she assumed that her life as the chief-engineer of the starship Voyager, lost and far away from home, brought these experiences with it.

But how did she get in this brig? She wondered but then she remembered...Right, a few days ago they had been on an away mission to get some dilithium back to the ship. Since she had needed it in Engineering she had been the leader of their mission and she'd been fine with that. She was happy that her captain finally had faith in her, faith that had been extremely hard to earn. But she couldn't blame her captain for that matter. The first impression she gave Kathryn Janeway was Joe Careys' broken nose.

Her team including Tom, Neelix and the Doctor, who had been keen on taking pictures of practically every stone his holographic eyes were able to see, had taken the Delta-Flyer and had been expected back soon as the planet had seemed to be uninhabited .

Since Tom had been with them too, she'd been happy to lead the mission and hadn't been overly concerned with unknown risks or dangers. That had been a stupid mistake and an irresponsible too; especially for a Starfleet officer like her. She had looked at it like some kind of holiday and she had been happy about the change that would come along with it. Besides, or so she had thought before, she could do with a few hours of breathing fresh air after getting the dilithium back to Voyager. Janeway had even allowed Tom and her a day off, after they had retrieved the dilithium, of course. But now she just wanted to get home to Voyager. She was all alone and had no clue how, not to mention where, the rest of her team was. She just hoped everyone was alright...Especially Tom...Gods how she missed him. She didn't know what she would do if he was...she didn't dare think about it.

Usually B'Elanna even liked adventures but this one was in no way fun, not anymore. It had changed into a horror trip right after she had been captured by this alien species which wasn't supposed to be on the planet, at least, according to the sensors.

Suddenly she saw a ray of light coming closer and closer, towards her direction. She hoped it was someone from her team and it became obvious that it was, because as the door opened she recognized the Starfleet uniform. B'Elanna could also see that the person was followed by an alien of the species that had captured her and her team. It was tall and thin, with red skin and an uninviting glare.

When they got closer, she saw that the person was Tom. As she caught sight of his face, she saw he was not in good shape. His eyes were red and a little swollen and he was covered with black and blue marks all over his body...he looked terrible.

The alien ordered him to enter the cell while he threatened him with a phaser, and it seemed Tom didn't even think of giving the alien any trouble. Yet B'Elanna considered that the right decision as the alien's features betrayed that he wouldn't hesitate to shoot if Tom refused the order.

"Is there a reason we are being confined here?" B'Elanna asked, struggling to keep the anger out of her voice. She had learned long ago that her anger would make many situations, especially situations extreme as this one, worse.

However, when the alien just laughed at her as a response she gave up and started yelling at him.

"Are you crazy? Let us go! We haven't done anything wrong!"

_Calm down, B'Elanna _she told herself as she wondered considered the repercussions of her outburst.

To her astonishment the alien just closed and locked up the door again.

"Tom, are you alright? Have they hurt you?"

He seemed to be lost in his thoughts.

"Tom?" she asked again.

"What?" Now he looked right into her eyes.

"Are you alright?"

"Well some bruises ...but nothing serious."

"What about Neelix and the Doctor?" B'Elanna asked, the worry obvious in their voice.

"They've taken the shuttle to get back to Voyager and bring help," Tom answered but still he was deeply lost in thoughts.

"Tell me what's bothering you," she asked as she was sure something was making him scared.

"They gonna sell us as slaves. I met other… prisoners… and they told me." After an exhausting sigh he continued, "At first, I thought this was a jail. I came here looking for you. I spoke to some...prisoners...and they told me. But apparently I didn't pay enough attention and got captured myself."

"I know that might sound selfish but I'm happy that you're here with me...I was scared...I had thought that maybe they had..." B'Elanna couldn't finish that sentence. She was close to tears both because of relief at seeing Tom again and also because she was in fear of their lives.

"Don't think about it...We just have to get outta here. Immediately!" Tom seemed to be a bit more positive.

"Great plan, Tom. Do you think we're able to just walk out? It's a prison cell remember?" She couldn't believe he had really suggested that of all things.

"Jeez, you're in a bad mood." Tom noted, exasperation in his voice.

"You can't expect me to be happy after I've heard this. So under these circumstances my mood is just great," B'Elanna retorted.

"You're just a little..."He tried to use the right word, "...testy?"

"Yes. I guess I am. I mean, it scares me that it's possible that I'm going to be sold. It scares me that I don't know what they're going to do to us. Aren't you afraid?" She asked, her voice rising.

"Of course I am – just the thought scares the hell out of me!"

"I think we need a plan."

/\

When the doorbell rang, Captain Kathryn Janeway was thinking about what had happened to her two senior officers Tom Paris and B'Elanna Torres. She assumed that they've gotten into some trouble as they weren't back yet, although the Doctor and Neelix had returned the last evening which gave her cause for concern. She just hoped that they weren't seriously injured and could handle their situation.

When she answered "Come in," she didn't seem surprised when it was her first officer who entered her ready room.

"Some news of B'Elanna and Tom?" She asked, hopefully.

He shook his head and she could see that he was worried about them. She could understand it, B'Elanna and him had been friends since they joined the Maquis together and he'd always felt very protective of her. Like the father the Half Klingon had never had. She knew that some months ago, he hadn't liked the fact B'Elanna and Tom were spending time together and were becoming a couple. To him Tom Paris had been the womanizer, the traitor, the cheater.

Chakotay had similar thoughts as the Captain and before his inner eye he could see the pilot and himself arguing about B'Elanna. "If you dare to hurt her, you're a dead man." Before he had continued, he had given Tom the best death glare he could manage. "She has been through so much trouble in her life. She doesn't need or deserve another one who breaks her heart, just like her father did when he left her."

Then Tom replied, "Chakotay, for the first time of my life, I really love someone. I am certainly not going to hurt that person."

Before Tom had turned to go, they had exchanged looks and it had been the first time Chakotay thought he had seen honesty in the eyes of Tom Paris. Since then he had started to respect the man he'd once disliked. Now though, he even called him a trusted friend.

"Can I offer you something to drink?" The Captain snapped him out of his thoughts.

"If you're asking me like that, I won't resist Captain. A tea would be fine."

"I've spoken to Neelix," Chakotay told her as she made her way to the replicator.

"What did he say? Some news?"

"Yes, he told me some things about the species down there. They are called the Ratans. They mostly earn their money with slavery. Even if there weren't any life signs on the sensors there are definitely inhabitants of that planet."

"But how did Neelix find out?"

"Well, he told me something about a fugitive he met. The slaves I just told you about are captured strangers, people of another origin."

Now it was clear that the two lieutenants were in danger.

"Then we have to get them out. Immediately!" Unbeknownst to the Captain she echoed her imprisoned crewmates words.

/\

When a young officer of the so called blue unit, called Mikar, opened one cell to bring food and water to the slaves, he didn't expect any attacks coming from the foreigners. However when he entered the cell he fully experienced the realisation that he was terrible wrong.

He was hit hard and fell to the ground, struggling to stay conscious. The last thing Mikar noticed was that the two cell inhabitants stole his weapon and ran out of the door, leaving him alone when the darkness descended upon him.

/\

They had pulled off their plan. Tom's relief was evident.

"Let's get out of this cell, I can't stand spending any more time in here!"

They ran from the cell and were relieved to find a console only a few meters away that could possibly send their coordinates to Voyager to get, once more, rescued by their crew.

While B'Elanna tried to contact their ship, Tom stood sentry.

"I think I've succeeded in contacting the ship but I believe that we're under the ground, so we'll have to get to the surface in order for them to be able to beam us up."

"You could be right. At least it would explain, why the sensors didn't detect any kind of civilization."

"I agree...I think we'd better hurry up, our captors might notice that we aren't where they want us to be. This way!"

"Yes ma'am!"

"Call me that again and I'll break your nose."

He wondered if she was serious about it, but there was just one way to find out. "I think ma'am suits you, at least it's cute, don't you think?"

"Don't push it, Paris!" and then, Tom could see the fire in her eyes he loved so much.

He knew that they enjoyed both those conversations, it was almost like a competition but when he looked into her eyes he was the winner, no matter what.

"Alright, alright!" He raised his hands in mock surrender.

/\

Captain Kathryn Janeway was sitting on a comfortable chair in her ready room, reading a book and just starting to relax after a long and exhausting day when her comm badge chirped.

"Captain?" The voice of Ensign Kim was unsure as he didn't want to disturb his captain.

"What is it Harry?"

"Could you please come down to the bridge? We picked up a signal from the planet. It's possible that it's from Tom and B'Elanna..."

"On my way!"

So her book had to wait, but the life of two members of her crew, of course, had the precedence.

As she entered the bridge, she wasn't prepared to meet an euphoric Harry Kim.

"Captain, I just confirmed the signal was sent by Tom and B'Elanna. Now, we've got their current position but they'll have to surface because according to the sensors they're far under the ground, then we'll be able to beam them aboard."

"Finally, good news," she said while giving the Ensign a wry smile.

"How much time do you think they'll need until we can get them out?"

"I don't know, but if I had to guess, I'd say three minutes!"

/\

They were running. Running as fast as they could through the narrow corridors while they passed what seemed like hundreds of cells. "Come on B'Elanna! Hurry up!" yelled an out of breath Tom. He didn't know why, but the distance between him and his girlfriend was getting bigger and bigger. He took a look over his shoulder to gauge the distance between them. What he saw didn't lift his spirits at all.

Two Ratans were following them and began to shoot at the Starfleet Officers. "Come on B'Elanna! Looks like we're living targets!" When Tom tried to return fire with the phaser he had taken from the guard they incapacitated he succeeded; one of the two ratans fell. B'Elanna, in the mean time, had turned around as well. She was standing at least 8 metres away from Tom. When the other Ratan fired his phaser he hit B'Elanna, who fell instantly. "No!" Tom wanted to make the alien pay for that, but suddenly blue small sparks appeared all around him...

And now review, please!


	2. Chapter 2

"The three minutes are over, Ensign."

"I know, Tuvok. I'm about to try...I got them."

Everybody on the bridge sighed out aloud. Except Tuvok, who typically Vulcan, just raised an eyebrow.

"No, wait a minute, I've got only the signal of Tom!"

"Why? What happened to Lieutenant Torres?" asked the Captain.

"I don't know, I can't get her, maybe she's still under the surface?"

"I don't believe Mr Paris just left her. But maybe he's got answers. I'll go to the transporter room. Chakotay you have the bridge."

With that she headed straight to the turbolift, signalling to Tuvok that she wanted him to accompany her. Maybe a little logic could help. Especially as she didn't know what to expect.

/\

They arrived just in time. Ensign Bristow stood at the console when the Captain and Tuvok entered the transporter room to see a very pale Tom Paris standing on the platform. He looked shocked and a little disoriented "B'Elanna!" he cried, turning around to see if she was there. "Why haven't you transported her?" he shouted at the Captain.

"Mr. Paris," Tuvok warned him, "You are talking to your Captain.It is not-"

"Let him speak Tuvok. Tom, we weren't able to beam her up. We couldn't get her signal. What the hell happened down there?"

"We've got to go back!" was his response.

"First, you should inform me about what happened."

"I...I...had lost B'Elanna on our mission so I went to find her, after I told Neelix and the Doctor to leave in the shuttle. After an hour or so I came across a huge building that looked like a prison, just under the ground..." he trailed off.

"Go on..."

"I crept carefully into the prison I asked lots of the cell inhabitants if they had seen her and they told me exactly where they had brought her and what would happen to all of them. Including B'Elanna.

"That's how I found out that it wasn't a prison. It's for locking people up, their slaves. The prisoners described the way to her cell so I tried to get there as fast as possible. But those aliens had somehow gotten to know about my plans. Soon they followed me and captured me too. That didn't matter though because the put me in the same cell as B'Elanna. When they brought us food we broke free and tried to surface as fast as we could. B'Elanna was behind me, she was, I don't know, maybe ten metres away from me when two aliens who were chasing us shot her. Then I was transported back here...

"...We need to go back! I'll take a shuttle."

He headed quickly for the door.

"Tom!" Janeway called after him "You can't go back!"

As well as she could understand his position, it was just too risky.

"But we've got to or it will be too late! What if she gets sold right now? It'll be nearly impossible to find her again. If we don't get her out of there she'll lose her entire life...I can't take that risk. You've got to let me do this, Captain."

"With all due respect, Tom, what are you going to do? They won't let her break free again! We need a good plan, that's the only chance for us right now. Before we reflect on what to do go get some sleep. We need a pilot who is fit to fly."

Tom just couldn't understand why Janeway stayed so damn calm.

"Do you really think I'm able to sleep right now? We need to hurry, Captain!"

"We'll start formulating a plan Tom. I realise you won't sleep but take a shower and use your time to calm down."

"But..."

"Do you want me to make that an order, Lieutenant?"

After a minute of uncomfortable silence he answered "No, Captain."

"Oh and Tom? The Doctor should check on you and give you something so you can sleep the next few days."

Tom just nodded and left the transorter room in silence.

/\

He didn't go to the Doctor, physically he was fine. He knew that. And sleep, well, who would want to sleep in his situation? He certainly didn't. He just wanted to be alone, thinking about what had happened, thinking about what they were supposed to do.

While he was lying on his bed, he cursed himself for not having been able to help her. Why was he the one rescued? Tom was sure if it had been Seven of Nine who was missing, or even Chakotay for that matter, the Captain would have taken every risk she needed to take. But no, if it was B'Elanna she seemed to have other priorities. Get some rest? Was she crazy? Just an hour could mean that B'Elanna lost everything she had. Everything _they_ had.

He realized how important their relationship was to him.They loved and trusted each other. Moreover their relationship had changed her; she wasn't so mad at everyone anymore and respected herself now, which meant she respected her Klingon half too. Their relationship had changed him as well; the times when he had let down everyone, because of his selfish behaviour, were over. Besides, he wasn't the "self-absorbed pig" anymore, as B'Elanna used to call him in the beginning when they were forced to work together as two senior officers.

He badly wanted to help her right now but he knew that he couldn't just walk over and start a fight with hundreds of aliens. The diplomatic way seemed to be out of question too, as he had experienced that they weren't a diplomatic race at all. The "just-get-her-out" way would also not succeed, he knew, because it had already failed before.

There weren't any other possibilities! He was so angry that he threw the glass that had been a precious gift at their first date as a couple against the wall. Their first date took place two years ago, when everything had been fine and happy. Now the glass was shattered into a thousand pieces...

/\

"Chakotay to the Captain."

"Go ahead, Commander."

"What did Tom say? What happened on the planet?"

"I suggest you come to my room. We have to work out a plan. See you there. Janeway out."

/\

In one of the tracts of Tevernaraia, amongst some of the grey, old cells down in the corridors, a woman lay on the floor, barely moving. She was no longer alone as two Ratans made their way to her.

"There she is! I told you we wouldn't let her escape, my lord."

"Can you guarantee she's alive?" His loud voice made clear that he outranked the Ratan who was with him.

"Well..."

"Then check! Do you think anyone would buy her if she's dead?"

"No, my lord." He said a little frightened while trying to feel her pulse. After a minute he finally got it. "She's alive but weak. We should no longer wait…Her friends could come back."

"Agreed. Make sure Viter starts soon. She looks kind of exotic, don't you think? Our customers will like her and pay an appropriate prize, for sure."

"Of course, my lord."

/\

Tom woke up hoping. Hoping that everything had been a dream, expecting B'Elanna to be lying next to him. But as soon as he started to open his eyes, his hope began to die.

Suddenly his comm badge chirped to adjourn his thoughts.

"Kim to Paris. Are you awake?"

"I seem to be."

"We have a senior staff meeting in approximately 10 minutes. See you there. Kim out."

Ten minutes. Not really much time to get ready. Maybe they had worked out a plan, and everything would turn out ...Maybe. Maybe their plan was damned to fail. Maybe they wouldn't even find her. Maybe... _Stop it, Paris! Neither thinking about what could happen nor pitying yourself_ _will help the situation._ With that final thought he quickly put on his clothes, ready to start his day. Ten minutes would have to do.

/\

When he arrived in the meeting room he made his way to his seat next to Harry's. However the seat on his left remained empty.

"How are you?" the young Ensign who had become his best friend asked.

"Great just great, Harry." he said, not even trying to keep the sarcasm out of his voice.

"Look, I know it's hard for you, and I'm really, really sorry for what happened down there but you have to go on. Behaving like that won't help her at all."

"Oh come on, Harry. I'm worried, don't you understand?"

"Of course, but you have to be calm, that's the only way to help her right now."

"What would you do if you were in my position? You have no idea what we could do, do you? Just like the Captain, Chakotay and everybody else on this damn ship! We have to do something; I don't want them to hurt her. Just sitting here is driving me crazy!"

In that moment the Captain entered the room which meant the meeting was about to start.

Besides B'Elanna's chair, Seven of Nine's chair stayed empty during the meeting, as the ex-borg was exploring a strange nebula some lightyears away.

"Chakotay and I were working out a plan to rescue B'Elanna all night. We don't know if it's work but I think it's worth a try…" She looked at everyone in the room. "It's quite simple; if she's a slave, we'll buy her."

/\

At approximately 0900 the starship Intrepid class USS Voyager entered orbit of the Ratan planet. As soon as they reached it, they received a message.

"Welcome to Ratan territory. We are honoured to call you our guests. If you are interested in buying slaves, let us know. We have slaves for every use."

When Tom heard this message he pressed his fists so hard against the grey metal of his console that it almost broke his bones. _For every use._ The phrase was repeating constantly in his head. What would they do to her? Hurt her? Make her work so hard that she wants to

die? He thought about the last time he had seen her. "Tom" she had called out when she had been shot, but it was only a faint whisper he had heard too late. What if she hadn't survived the shot?

"Tom!"

"Captain?" He dared to take a quick look over his shoulder. The Captain wore that worried look.

"Is everything alright?" she asked

Had she really asked that question? He couldn't believe it. Of course nothing was "alright". Wasn't that obvious? However he knew he shouldn't let his personal problems interfere with his job. That would do no one any good. Neither him, the crew, nor B'Elanna. "I guess so, Captain."

/\

"Chakotay, Tuvok, you'll accompany me to the surface."

"Captain!" Tom interjected, "I should come with you. I know where to go!" He had to go with them. He just hoped he was able to convince Janeway. He looked at her as she seemed to think about it.

"Alright, then. Although I suppose you know that they could recognize you since you escaped just a few days ago."

Maybe that was true but he couldn't stay aboard. He knew he just couldn't do that. Janeway knew that too.


	3. Chapter 3

After Tom had finally succeeded in convincing Janeway to let him be a part of the rescue party, the away team met in the shuttlebay an hour later to prepare for their flight in the Delta-Flyer. Tom arrived first, obviously nervous as hell. After that Janeway entered the bay with Chakotay. As they walked along they talked, but it was too quiet for Tom to understand what their conversation was about.

/\

"Captain, to be honest, I don't know if it was a good idea to let him come with us. He might go crazy down there if we don't find her; not to talk about how he'll react if they've done anything to her."

The Captain considered this for a moment but she had made her decision clear.

"That might be true. But imagine how he'll behave when we won't take him with us. Moreover I can sympathize with him. In his position I wouldn't be able to just sit around instead of taking action. It's his decision to make." She had her point.

/\

It was quiet in the Delta Flyer when they flew to the cell tract where Tom had seen B'Elanna the last time. Everybody seemed to be lost in thoughts, which contributed to the low morale. They quickly headed for their destination and soon they had a pretty good view to see how big the firstly assumed prison really was.

It was clearly divided into three parts - everyone of them was as huge as an own city. This was a scary thought to the passengers of the shuttle. Probably millions of slaves were being held there to be sold and everyone of them had lost his home, his family, his friends.

_These Ratans are a disgusting, egoistic race that hurt other people just to benefit themselves _Tom couldn't help but thinking. _However technically the Ratans were a highly developed race and they could easily compete with Voyager. If this plan failed there would be little chance to get their chief engineer back safe_. Though the half-Klingon had gotten into life-threatening situations such as this one, more than once before, it was difficult for Tom to think about anything else. He sat there watching the stars instead of paying attention to the helm, which he was supposed to be doing.

Chakotay had seen enough of it. He couldn't stand the self pity coming from the young lieutenant. "Mr.Paris, we certainly didn't take you with us to watch the stars and if you're going to go on pitying yourself like that we're not safe here,we need a pilot who looks after his ship. Are we clear?"

Tom nodded his head to indicate his agreement. Even if it was hard for him to do as the commander had told him, he wanted to try.

After a relatively calm ride, they were able to land on an unguarded field that was situated not far from the tracts. Yet, as it was dangerous, they had camouflaged their ship from Ratan sensors.

"What now, Captain?"

/\

As B'Elanna looked around, all she could see was black, a terrifying pitch black. Apart from that black she could see nothing, hear nothing, smell nothing. Although she would have cried out aloud under normal circumstances, she couldn't even speak, let alone cry as she seemed to have forgotten how to use her voice. Besides, these circumstances were certainly not normal. It wasn't only her voice that wasn't working properly; she couldn't move her body at all. She couldn't even tremble, yet she felt she wanted to, as she was geting more frightened by every passing minute. She could feel something was about to happen.

At least she could think, so she tried to remember where she was, but although she really tried, it was no use. She sat there, in the darkness, unaware that the dangers lurking in it were old enemies she had defeated a long time ago. And now no one and nothing was there to make her feel more secure her. Nothing but her fears, her anger and her confusion.

Suddenly she had to face those enemies: her memories. And she couldn't even close her eyes or run away. She was forced to let them wash all over her again.

"Please! No! Don't, please!" She screamed. But deep inside, she knew there was nothing she could do.

/\

She saw herself at the age of twelve. She stood right on the shore, looking at the calm sea. It was a beautiful day: it wasn't that hot, but it wasn't cold either. The sun shined bright and though the heavens were a bit cloudy, the scenery in front of the teenage girl was kind of picturesque. There were large trees everywhere and birds flew above the water trying to catch some fish.

B'Elanna recognised her surroundings immediately. It was where her father had taken her camping. Her father had organized the trip with her Uncle Carl and her cousins in order to relax .Today, she knew he had done it because he needed a break from Miral; his wife and B'Elanna's mother. The relationship of the girl's parents had gotten almost unbearable for the whole family and as John Torres didn't want to lose his good relationship with his daughter he took her with him to that camping trip. A big mistake, as B'Elanna figured later.

Now, the 28 old woman saw her father heading towards her younger self. The sun had already set as the middle-aged man asked his daughter to come by the fire to join her uncle and cousins. She refused to come with her father as she believed her cousins didn't like her. She told him that she prefered to just stay and read. That had been her solution to everything, reading a book: in a story no one would insult her and no one would talk behind her back, as the kids did at school. She could take the bullying from kids at school. What she couldn't take was the fact that her father did the exact same thing that evening:

"She's gotten moody, unpredictable, argumentative. Just like her mother." he had said in a harsh tone that made B'Elanna wince.

She couldn't believe those words had been spoken by her own father, words that she had never been able to forgive him for, that had always stayed in her mind, no matter what she did.

Later that night she had shouted at him "Why don't you leave if you don't like us?"

And that's exactly what he did five days later. B'Elanna had never stopped blaming herself. If she would have been able to, the chief engineer would have shed many tears while looking at these painful memories again. Yet she couldn't, as while being in this darkness that had descended upon her, her body showed no reaction at anything anymore. Now, she looked straight at her memories with horror before it all went black again.

/\

It wasn't long before a second memory flooded through her and it wasn't a much more pleasant one.

B'Elanna, now exactly four years older, stood right in the middle of her room, packing. She wanted to leave her mother. She couldn't stand the fights she and her mother regularly had anymore; she just wanted to back off from her, and everything Klingon for that matter. She was tired of being called weak because of her human half and she wanted to join Starfleet where she had hoped to be treated with respect and tolerance. Respect and tolerance. Two words that, in that time, had been foreign ones, ones she just had dreamed of.

At school it hadn't been any different except the fact that there, she had been bullied because of her Klingon half; they used to call her "Miss Turtlehead" without knowing that the tough, cold exterior of the child had a sensitive interior that suffered from the names they used to give her, and from the insults her mother yelled at her. She just hadn't known where she belonged, which is why she decided she would to join Starfleet.

Now B'Elanna saw herself yelling at her mother, blaming her for the being one who drove her father away, blaming her for not loving her child, and telling her that she didn't want to be part-Klingon. Her mother had been hurt by that, the young woman could see now. Yet the teenager was so angry at the older woman that she had only shouted instead of giving her mother a chance.

After a few minutes had passed, when they were both yelling at each other, B'Elanna told her mother that she didn't love her, and the young girl left the house hoping for a brighter future.

Since then she had never spoken a word to her mother again. However she could always remember the last words she had said to her:

"I don't love you, I never did."

And these words hadn't even been true.

/\

Tom hoped that the Captain's plan would work out and that they would get B'Elanna home safe. Now they reached their destination: a cold terrifying building under the ground. They had to be alert every second, if the Ratans noticed the intruders, there would be no future for them at all.

He heard the screaming he had heard the first time he was trying to save B'Elanna, too and it made him tremble.

"This way," he told his superior officers.

/\

"Oh no, not this...don't let me see this again!" B'Elanna thought. She felt pained when she saw herself, actually two of herself: her human and her Klingon half standing right in front of each other fighting. A fight she had had to fight inside of herself for years, since her father had left. That was the first time she had wished to be completely human. Yet she remembered that being fully human she felt fragile and weak. She had been afraid and she was feeling those emotions, those feelings again, right now as she was forced to see them again. She could see her two halves, the Klingon and the human being beamed aboard Voyager, back from that Vidiian laboratory and safe, when her Klingon half suddenly collapsed because of her injuries from a Vidiian weapon. She fell on the transporter platform right in front of her human counterpart. Her human half was worried and extremely frightened a feeling that to such an extent, she had never felt before. But in spite of this bad feeling in her gut she hadn't wanted to be partly Klingon again...her other half had brought her far too much trouble.

However when the Doctor had told her that she needed her Klingon half to survive she had had to accept it. She could see Tom worrying about her and comforting her, and hell she had needed it.That was the first time she considered Tom as a friend, she remembered.

"Oh Tom, help me now,"she silently pleaded.

The next memory was worse still: the day of honor...Tom and herself floating in space, facing death. She had told him that she had always pushed him away and that she loved him.

"You picked a great time to tell me," was his response.

She had been sure he'd thought that she'd just said it because they had been suffering from oxygen deprivation but it had been true and it still was for that matter. B'Elanna had been incredibly sad about it. They were dying and Tom hadn't known how she really had felt about him. But they had been saved again and had been a couple since then.

It went black again and B'Elanna was afraid of what would come next. To her astonishment instead of further memories she felt something pull her out of the blackness. God it hurt, she thought, while fading into unconsciousness.


	4. Chapter 4

Even though they planned to get B'Elanna back to Voyager by buying her as a slave, the away team still tried to find their chief of engineering by looking after her near her last known location first. They silently walked through the corridors of the huge building that held captive several thousands of people, all of whom had been forced to leave their lives behind.

No matter where they went, Tom couldn't help but having a strange feeling at the bottom of his gut, a feeling that never indicated anything good. Every several minutes he looked at his tricorder, hoping it would detect a lifesign that belonged to a human-Klingon hybrid. But his hopes went unanswered, at least for half an hour, when suddenly the three tricorders of the away team began to beep loudly.

/\

On Voyager, Harry just wanted to enjoy his lunch, even if enjoying was not quite the right word for eating some Leola root, that had to be forced down, when suddenly Neelix, the ship's cook and morale officer, approached Harry's table to ask him how things were going with the away mission.

"Do you mind if I sit down?" he asked politely while gesturing at the chair next to the Ensign.

"No, not at all. Do you want to talk about something specific?" Harry asked.

"I wanted to know about the away team. You know... Somehow the ship seems so empty without the Captain and Chakotay. And if Tom and B'Elanna aren't aboard, it's really quiet here. Too quiet. I guess I'm just worrying about them," The Talaxian admitted while looking down.

"I know what you mean. But I'm afraid there isn't any news so far. You know, I wonder if it was the right decision to take Tom with them down there. He's just too damn sensitive when it comes to B'Elanna. I can understand him pretty well I'd say, but in situations as this one, he tends to overreact. He doesn't let anyone near him.

You know I really tried to help him, asked if he wanted to talk, all those things good friends offer when the other one is feeling miserable. But Tom doesn't want any help. He pretends to be tough, but there are times when even he isn't. When it comes to admitting feelings both he and B'Elanna are so damn stubborn..."

"Whether they admit their feelings or not, they love each other deeply," Neelix remarked before standing up and heading back towards his kitchen.

/\

"We got a trace", Chakotay said enthusiastically. "This way," he indicated with his left arm.

Not knowing what was expecting them, they walked slowly, silently. If they were detected, they would have to come up with an evasion.

Captain Kathryn Janeway was the first to find the room with the help of her tricorder, where the Ratans held the ship's fiery chief engineer. "She's in here," she whispered, trying not to attract the Ratans attention.

"What are we waiting for?" Tom replied a bit too impulsively.

Chakotay held him back at the last minute, preventing him from storming into the room. "Tom...wait a minute, we can't just head in there. We have to watch out!" Keeping his voice down, Chakotay had a very soothing effect on the younger lieutenant.

"Alright," he sighed but answered in an equally soothing tone, "What do you think we should do, commander?" He was extremely worried, yet he tried to keep himself under control, avoiding losing his temper in front of the Captain and her commanding officer.

"One thing's for sure-we can't storm in there! Tom I know you're worried, we all are. But you have to understand that...we have to be careful about what to do. The Ratans could detect us any minute." Commander Chakotay said in his diplomatic tone of voice that Tom gave the creeps.

"Chakotay, have you any idea how I feel? Somehow this situation is my fault, I wasn't able to protect her when she needed me. You know she's always pretending to be tough but the last time I saw her she looked so vulnerable...She wanted me to help her when she lay on the floor, bruised and hurt, but I left her alone. It's my fault."

Chakotay couldn't hear any more of this self-pitying. "Tom, even though I can understand your position you have to concentrate on the mission. I know what you're going through...what it feels like when a loved one is in danger. But none of that is -"

"Someone's coming towards our direction!" Janeway whispered suddenly. "We have to hide. Seems like we have no choice but get in here. Hurry!" Captain Janeway said with a raising panic before quietly opening the door...


	5. Chapter 5

The sight that greeted the away team after opening the door was unexpected to say at least. Right before them, B'Elanna was lying on a table -a kind of examination table- that reminded Tom somehow of their time with the Vidiians which had split B'Elanna in two B'Elannas; a human and a Klingon one. Tom couldn't take his eyes of her. Worried about what the Ratans had been doing to her, he didn't even notice two Ratans at the other end of the huge white room. They were heading towards the away team and both Janeway and Chakotay felt panic rising in them.

"Tom! We have to get out: it's not safe with the Ratans heading towards us! Hurry!" Janeway said.

"I won't leave her alone." Tom answered. Nothing could take him from B'Elanna again.

"Paris! Now is not the time to play the hero! Let's go before it's too late!" Chakotay said, not noticing that it already was too late.

/\

"What are you doing here? Answer me!" One of the Ratans demanded.

"I am Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Federation starship Voyager. We are here to get our crewmember back."

Instead of responding, the Ratan just laughed evilly. That gave Tom the creeps. He took out his phaser and pointed it at one Ratan. "Give her to me," he called. The Ratans looked at each other, uncertain whether they should follow the order or not. Hesitantly they handed the limp form of B'Elanna to Tom.

"I suggest you get out of here and never come back," the second Ratan spoke up.

"Let's go," Chakotay said, "let's hurry! They might call security guards!"

They ran back through the corridors, afraid of what the consequences would be if they were seen by security guards. Tom carried B'Elanna who had her eyes closed. _At least she's alive_ Tom thought, while wondering what was wrong with her. They had just a few metres to go to reach the shuttle and luckily they got out of the compound without meeting security guards to stop them from getting back to the ship.

"They're behind us," Chakotay called suddenly. "We have to speed up!" They ran as fast as they could. They could already see the delta flyer in front of them but the Ratans seemed to get nearer and nearer. Then they reached the shuttle. "Get in there." Janeway said. She would enter the shuttle the last, protecting her crew. When all were aboard Tom started the shuttle as fast as he could.

/\

They made it, they had started the shuttle. Now, all they had to do was get back to Voyager safely. Suddenly the computer beeped.

"Two Ratan ships are behind us! They're loading their weapons!"

"How long until we reach Voyager?" Janeway asked.

"Ten minutes at maximum!" Tom cried as the Delta Flyer was directly hit and the little ship went to red alert.

"What do we do now Captain?" Tom asked frantically, his fingers flying over his console.

"Are the phasers online?"

"Yes Ma'am."

"Fire back! Target their warp core! Then go to warp!" Janeway cried back.

Tom tried to follow the orders but going to warp was impossible after they were hit, so they had to go with impulse drive.

"Three minutes till we reach Voyager," Chakotay called out. "We could send them our coordinates?"

"Do it." Janeway said. The more time passed the worse their situation got as the Ratans fired constantly. After a minute Voyager reached the Flyer's coordinates. The Ratan ships didn't stand a chance against Voyager so they gave up and flew back to their planet.

/\

Back on Voyager, B'Elanna was taken to Sickbay immediately. With three worried friends at her side, she was examined by the extremely talkative Hologram that was programmed to cure all the diseases of the crew. Unfortunately "the Doc", as Tom called the programme, had never seen such a sickness that B'Elanna was suffering from, which was pretty similar to a coma. B'Elanna didn't notice the chaos and panic going on around her while she had her eyes closed. She looked like she was sleeping peacefully.

"I don't know yet what is wrong with her, I will have to examine her properly. If you would please let me..." the Doctor said while gesturing towards the door. Both Janeway and Chakotay left Sickbay, Tom on the other hand didn't go.

"I won't leave her," Tom said decidedly - nothing would take him from his B'Elanna.

"Okay…" the Doc said reluctantly and unexpectedly quickly.

While the captain and her first officer left sickbay, the Doctor noticed Tom wearing a sad and worried look. "Mr. Paris, you are aware of the fact that my holomatrix is a well-developed programme. Precisely, it is more than just a usual programme that knows how to heal human beings, or half-Klingons for that matter. I am even able to cure diseases which I haven't known of yet. You could say that I am indeed a genius," the EMH stated quite self-confidently.

"Yeah Doc, I know...It's just that I don't have a good feeling about this at all," the pilot said deep in thought. The Doc didn't know what to say, his knowledge of psychology was not that satisfactory. Yet he had the feeling and the want to help not just a crewmember, but a friend. "I assure you, I will help her and in no time she will be back on her feet again commanding and yelling at her staff and keeping you on your tracks, you'll see."

/\

Two days passed and still there was no progress with B'Elanna's treatment at all. Tom felt his patience running out, which was quite understandable as he had neither slept nor eaten properly for the past week. His friends were starting to get worried about him, as the usually evenly-tempered pilot only could be found in Sickbay, never leaving his girlfriend's side.

/\

"Amnesia." The Doctor stated as he went out of his lab.

"Excuse me?"

"It's her brain. She's forgotten about herself, lost her memory. She has amnesia."

"What? I mean, are you sure?" Tom asked, shocked.

"Yes, I am afraid so...I'm so sorry," the Doctor admitted honestly.

"Is there any chance for her to regain her memory?" Tom's voice was full of shock.

"I can't tell yet, but I can wake her up now." He pressed a hypospray against the once so moody Chief Engineer's neck. Stirring, she slowly opened her eyes and looked straight into Tom's blue ones.

"Where am I?" she asked weakly.

"B'Elanna, honey, you're in sickbay. You're safe here..." Tom hesitated as if being afraid of her answer… "Do you... remember who you are?"


	6. Chapter 6

The woman stirred, not daring to look into the eyes of the people who were gathered around

her. She tried to sit up, but her aching head made it impossible.

_Do You Remember who__you are?_ The question she'd been asked only a couple of minutes

before echoed over and over in her mind. To her horror she didn't know the answer. She

carefully looked into the stranger's eyes. Even though these people seemed to be deeply concerned for her rather than having evil intentions she wondered if they had anything to do with her state of mind.

"_What have you done to me?"_

She almost roared, noticing that her temper just had gotten way out of hand. She was in no position to talk the way she just had. She looked at them for a second time, studying them intently. They were carrying guns. A wave of fear washed over her and she felt the rising urge to run away. _But where to go?_

"We won't do youanyharm. Please, let us help you."A woman, the only woman among them, spoke up and in her eyes she saw nothing but honesty and concern.

"_Pl__ease,"_ she whispered, _"__Could you tell me who I am?"_

/\

Tom couldn't believe it. B'Elanna had forgotten about everything. Her memories had been completely erased. He had hoped she would recognize him, having wanted to believe that their love was something special, something that went beyond memories, but deep down he knew it was impossible for her to remember him. Still, he was hurt and desperate, not knowing what he was supposed to do. He had to make his decison as fast as possible: should he lie to her, pretending that she was nothing but a good friend to him? No, lying to her was out of question; lying to her of people, would mean cheating not only on her, but also on his feelings.

He was deep in his thoughts when the Captain spoke up. "You're Lieutenant B'Elanna Torres.You're the Chief Engineerof my shipWe're your friends B'Elanna."

/\

_Chief Engineer? _That didn't make any sense at all: she didn't know these people, let alone this ship. On the other hand, what did make sense? She didn't even know herself; a supossedly grown woman, lost on a ship full of strangers. _"__I'm sorry, but you must be mistaken. I'm not the person you're looking for. I don't know anything about engineering. I suggest you let me go. I need to find my homeworld. I..."_

"B'Elanna, you belong here with us,"Tom said, but his girlfriend seemed to be totally absorbed in her own world.

"_Let me go.__..Please...I can't...Let me go," _she babbled quietly, behaving like a young child who needed for her mother. She was losing control and Tom felt the urge to do something, anything, to help her. He grabbed her by the shoulders and looked deeply into her eyes. "Calmdown,_please_," he pleaded with her quietly.

But instead of being quiet, Tom's grip seemed to infuriate her. She was afraid and all she could think of was freeing herself from his hard grip. She tried to kick him.

"Stop it, B'Elanna," he told her, still trying to remain calm. Yet B'Elanna didn't listen to him. She only wanted to protect herself, to run away from these people.

"Sedate her," the Captain ordered. The Doctor did as he was told.

"_You said you were my friends,"_ B'Elanna said while drifting into a deep slumber.

I hope you liked the chapter. Thanks (just as always) to Kirstin, I couldn't imagine a better betareader. Thanks for helping me out and being a friend I can rely on. Further thanks go to my friends, my family and everybody else who is there for me. You guys are all great. And last but not least thanks to all the readers, and the couple of reviewers (you could review once again, please!), please tell me what you think.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter7

He had been confined to his quarters, where he was told to get some rest…again. Tom Paris was feeling agitated as he paced the floor of his quarters. The Doctor had sedated B'Elanna, who was now resting in a deep slumber. Nevertheless, Tom couldn't surpress the feeling that welled up in him, the feeling that it had been the wrong decision to force her to calm down by sedating her. It was obvious that B'Elanna felt threatened by her friends' presence and Tom doubted that her sedation would make it easier for them to gain her trust. He had been arguing with the Doctor until he was ordered to stay in his quarters. He had to admit that there had been no point in discussing the matter with the Doctor, who only had been following the orders he was given by the Captain. He could understand the reason for her sedation though; the risk of hyperventilation had been just too high. She was back. Alive. Resting in sickbay. She wasn't suffering from severe injuries. He had to remember that. But in contrast to her physical condition, her psychological health was different matter.

"Doctor to Mr. Paris," his combadge chirped.

"What's up, Doc? Got any news?"

"Actually I have. Miss Torres will be awake within the next ten minutes. I thought you would want to know."

"Thanks, I'll be there. Paris out."

/\

Her senses were becoming acute again. She could hear a constant beeping that was generated by a machine, obviously. She could smell a sterile odour that seemed unfamiliar. She would open her eyes soon. But something was wrong. All she could remember was a strange dream she experienced while being asleep.

She decided to open her eyes to find out where she was.

"Ah Miss Torres, you are awake." She jumped a little at the voice, which she remembered hearing in her dream. Her dream had been no dream, she realized, and the truth hit her hard. Without having memories, she was no longer an individual, but a body without a soul. Maybe she would remember, she kept on trying to reassure herself.

"I don't know a Miss Torres. I know you all want me to be her but..." she was interrupted by a swooshing door and a middle aged man, she'd already seen, stepped in. She focused on the other man again, "...but I can't be your B'Elanna. Please don't come near me. I want you to leave me alone. Please."

/\

Tom stood there in the door way, frozen to the spot. "We're here to help you," he said, trying to calm her down.

"No. I don't want your help. Let me go."

"B'Elanna, where do you want to go?" The Doctor asked while taking two steps in her direction.

B'Elanna was getting more nervous again. "Don't hurt me...Please." She was looking around her. Her gaze focused on a technical device. In an instant she grabbed it and made several steps towards Tom. "Let me go or I'll hurt him," she said convincingly while pressing the device into the neck of the man.

"B'Elanna ..." he croaked.

"Shut up," she cried. "I'm serious. Let me go."

"Okay" Tom said in such a sad tone that she almost hesitated to leave sickbay. But no, nothing would stop her now and she started to run, without really knowing where she had to go.

/\

Tom in the mean time was confused, and he wondered if he should go after her or leaving her alone.

"Mr. Paris," the Doctor called out "Let her go. She will calm down by herself."

/\

She ran without really knowing, where she had to go or where she was. All that mattered was to get away. _You can't get away on a starship,_ she acknowledged. But still, running away seemed to be the only way to fight the fear of the unknown she had experienced since being here. She was out of breath when she finally came to a halt in a rather quiet area. She sat down, leaning with her back to the wall, her head in her hands. She felt helpless and alone. There was nothing she could do about her situation. Maybe she had to get back to talk to these people. But she didn't trust them and her feelings were the only thing she could rely on in that moment. She had no memories, no experiences and she had to listen to the feeling of her gut, and it said to not trust them.

But still, these people had no reason to hurt her, had they? On the other hand, they had sedated her after she couldn't be convinced to listen to them. But where was the point in listening at all? It wouldn't change a thing: it would not give her her life back, but it would cause expectations - they would want her to be B'Elanna Torres, and these were expectations she couldn't live up to.

/\

Tom couldn't wait any longer. He wouldn't wait any longer. An hour after B'elanna's outburst, he decided to go after her. She could be everywhere on the ship. As she was wearing civilian clothes there was no point in locating her and her combadge with the help of the ship's computer. So he passed probably hundreds of his shipmates' quarters, engineering, the mess hall, the bridge and even sickbay, although he was pretty sure that it was the last place she would go. He looked behind every corner and finally when he was about to give up, he spotted her in a corner of the ship, where he hadn't been often during his career as Voyager's pilot.

"Hey there," he said with his softest possible voice.

B'Elanna looked up and recognized the man in front of her. Even if she felt threatened by his presence only hours ago, she now was certain that he wouldn't hurt her.

"You've picked a pretty good place to hide from us."

"That was my intention." She started to feel uncomfortable again but before she could react, he was trying to calm her down.

"B'Elanna...Please give me this opportunity to talk to you...You look like you've been crying..." he noticed.

"Maybe I was...You know...I decided to give it a try."

"What do you mean?"

"I decided to listen to you. I've decided to let me show who I was...You know...what life this B'Elanna Torres has been living. But you have to promise me something. Please don't have too high expectations of me. I won't be your B'Elanna. You have to understand that."

"I promise."

He knew this promise would request a lot of patience, and a hard inner struggle which he didn't know whether he could win, but he had to try. He just had to.


	8. Chapter 8

_One month later_

"Let's go to the holodeck, come on!" Tom called excitedly. The tension between him and B'Elanna had appeased over the last couple of days. She had agreed to get to know Voyager better. Nevertheless, once in a while Tom wasn't surprised to catch her wearing a worried, even a sad look, and he figured that it wouldn't need a psychologist to find out that she was thinking about herself; about who she was and where she had come from.

"What program do you want to run today, Tom?" she asked while laying the fork on her plate. The two were sitting in the mess hall having dinner together. Tom had just finished his shift and B'Elanna was happy every time her routine was varied. She didn't want to complain about her life on Voyager so far but there weren't many things she could do during the shifts of the senior officers.

"It's a Hawaiian beach we'll go to." Tom said while remembering the time the whole crew had been engaged in a Hawaiian ritual called luau for the first time. It had been shortly before he and B'Elanna had confessed their love to each other and he could still remember B'Elanna's successful attempt to make him envious by having dinner with Ensign Vorik, who by that time was unhappily falling in love with the Chief Engineer. This time, however, Tom hadn't invited their friends.

"Will Harry come, too? The more people will come the more fun it will be, don't you think?"

No, he didn't think so; he didn't agree, he knew he was being impatient and breaking the commitment he had given her a couple of weeks ago; not to expect too much from her, not pushing her but letting her be what she was; a woman without an origin, a woman who had to seek her own identity. He knew he wasn't fair to her and still he had the feeling that he could do no better than that, he missed his B'Elanna so terribly. It was wearing him out to look straight into her face while noticing the B'Elanna he knew wasn't there right now; as if she had been chased away by evil demons.

"You know, I thought we could spend a little time alone..."

"I'm sorry Tom, but I don't think spending time alone with you would be a good idea."

This statement went to his core. He had been pushed away. A month had passed and they hadn't made any progress as far as their personal relationship was concerned. Several days ago, he had shown her Voyager, every part of it, even the smallest corridors. When she didn't even react to seeing the mighty blue of the warp core he had realized that he had underestimated the long way to remembering, and that it would be hard for them both. His optimism was still there but dammit it was fading already. He had never been good at waiting.

"Alright!" he said as if defeated. "...I'll ask Harry and some.."

"_Red alert! All hands to battle stations!"_ Janeway barked over the commline.

"We'll talk later about it," Tom promised, while hurrying up to get to the bridge as fast as possible.

/\

She didn't think she would ever see them again. Janeway was terrified. She knew what this species was capable of doing . Hell, she had seen what they had done to their Chief Engineer . The Ratans were back. And this time it wouldn't be that easy to escape. If she had to judge, she'd say that their phasers and torpedoes were about two times more powerful than Voyager's . According to Tuvok the hostile race hadn't detected them; at least not yet. She saw Tom stepping onto the bridge and she automatically tensed. She didn't know how her pilot would react to seeing the species that had destroyed his life several weeks ago. As for herself, she hadn't figured out a plan yet. This species was dangerous, as well as technically advanced.

/\

Tom was shocked. Extremely shocked. He stood there frozen to the spot, not knowing how to react. He felt angry. Nervous. Frightened. He even felt betrayed, betrayed by his own feelings that the encounters with that race weren't over but just beginning. A sudden beginning that he hadn't expected, as he had felt safe after getting B'Elanna back to the ship. And then his feelings turned out to be wrong. He felt ashamed. Ashamed of his trivial problems; his impatience with B'Elanna when he should be happy for just having saved her. All these emotions came crashing down on him. He went to his station when suddenly an idea came into his mind.

"Captain, may I talk to you in private?


End file.
